She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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