i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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