Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
