They should really pass out barf bags in church
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
