Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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