he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize