He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
