had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
