i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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