do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
