I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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