Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
