Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
