if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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