3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
