We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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