last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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