Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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