we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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