we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
