What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
