just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize