I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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