Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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