There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
