Pregnant stripper...not hot.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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