I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
