If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
