If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
