That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i think my cat just said my name.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
