so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
