How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
