think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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