Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
