im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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