Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
