Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
