Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
