Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
