Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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