You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
