We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
