everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
