The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
