2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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