he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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