I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
