Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
be right there i have to get my cape
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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