no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dicks are not precious.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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