two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dick very happy bro
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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