Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
