You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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