was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
