"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
