Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize