ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize