Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize