can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize