Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
