and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
