i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize