i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
