I look better un-naked...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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