is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
