Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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