she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
